


Genie In The Closet

by jeyhawk



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-28
Updated: 2010-08-28
Packaged: 2017-10-20 19:09:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/216164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeyhawk/pseuds/jeyhawk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"Humans do not come with the Fae's built-in ability to recognize True Love, in fact they are likely to crap a Good Thing in the face. (Observe: Not literally, there is no need to keep wet wipes and sanitizers handy.) If that is the case for you and your True Love, you need to be patient. While the Fae recognize the fact that Destiny has their balls in vice-like grip, humans like to believe there actually is such a thing as Free Will. (<strike>Obviously, they've never met Destiny.</strike> My apologies, Destiny is a fair and beautiful lady who conducts her business in a very ladylike and efficient manner…)"</i> - Interspecies Relationships: The Manual, by Aaron Long-Winded.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Genie In The Closet

**Author's Note:**

> For Round Two of [](http://kradamadness.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**kradamadness**](http://kradamadness.dreamwidth.org/).

The whole thing is Brad's idea. Supposedly he's Adam's fairy godmother, but aside from the fact that he sparkles and has a pretty fucking magic wand, Adam's never really seen any proof of that. For one, he's sure you're not supposed to date your fairy godmother and he did that, repeatedly ( _magic_ wand, okay?), and second he's pretty sure your fairy godmother is supposed to help you, not mock you, which seems to be Brad's main goal in life. Still, there's no denying that Brad's advice usually turns out to be solid even when it sounds insane, so that's how Adam finds himself hiring an escort to keep him company during his world tour.

Adam's done the world tour thing before and it pretty much sucks. Sure, he loves performing and he feeds off the adoring crowds until he feels as if he's ten feet tall and omnipotent (at least very, very potent -- he gets horny, okay?), but it also really gets kind of lonely. All around him people fall in love and get their happily ever after while Adam's left to the company of his right hand and his favorite dildo.

Brad says this is because Adam is a Cupid. Adam's not really sure what that means and Brad's explanations are at best terribly convoluted, but he thinks that the gist of it is that Cupid is not a naked baby with a bow but a number of people that serve as some kind of batteries for sexual energy. Basically, Cupids translate the energy around them into a force field of love, light and understanding that spreads around them in waves. At least that's what Brad says, but he might be full of shit.

If Adam really is a Cupid he thinks it's terribly unfair that he's the one who goes to bed alone most nights and who can't get a relationship to work no matter how hard he tries. Brad claims that's because Adam's been dating the wrong people, but then he also claims that hiring an escort is a good idea and how exactly is that supposed to help with dating the right people? The last time Adam checked, most escort stories did not end like _Pretty Woman_ and since Brad's involved Adam doesn't think it'll be anything like _Pretty Woman_ anyway (at least he hopes not because he'd be really disappointed if he came back to his room and found Julia Roberts waiting for him).

In fact, Adam doesn't know what to expect as he takes the elevator up to the penthouse (yes, he's famous enough to get the penthouse now) to meet his escort for the first time. Brad was vague enough on details; he only said that the escort would be waiting in Adam's room after the first show and that everything was taken care of. Adam doesn't know what _everything’s taken care of_ entails but in the back of his mind he envisions his escort spread out naked on the bed with a buttplug up his ass (it's been a while, okay?).

*

It's a good thing Adam isn't making his living as a psychic, because he's wrong. In fact, Adam doesn't think his escort is going to be dropping his clothes any time soon, but he maybe he would, if Adam could coax him out of the closet.

"You're being ridiculous," he tells the closet door.

"Am not." Comes the muffled reply.

There can't be a lot of room in there, even if the guy is tiny (and he is from the brief glimpse Adam got before the guy scurried across the floor and threw himself into the closet). He also got a disturbing eyeful of plaid. What kind of escort wears plaid and hides in closets? It's clearly time to place a call to Brad.

Brad picks up after the first ring. He was probably just waiting for the call, the bastard.

"Seriously, Brad," he says, trying to keep his voice level, but it's been a long day and he's really kind of horny. "Where did you even find this guy?"

"He's perfect, isn't he?" Brad sounds incredibly pleased with himself.

"I wouldn't know," Adam answers. "He's hiding. _In the closet._ "

"Oh… Well, he spent the last two hundred years as a genie in a bottle. He's not used to open spaces. He'll be fine once you get on the bus."

"A genie in a… What the fuck Brad? Where in the actual fuck did you find him?"

"The Human/Fae Foreign Exchange Program for True Love, of course. He's perfect for you."

Adam's eyes narrow, no one said anything about love. "I'm ninety-nine percent sure you're shitting me right now."

"Well, there's a one percent chance you're wrong," Brad says, and then he hangs up without giving Adam any tips for how he's supposed to deal with the genie-in-a-bottle-turned-escort in his closet. He considers calling Brad back but this is probably one of those situations Adam is supposed to handle on his own because it's character building or some shit. Having a fairy godmother really sucks sometimes.

Adam puts his phone down on the bedside table and sinks down on the floor outside the closet, stretching his legs out and crossing them at the ankle.

"Are you really a genie?" he asks.

"Yes."

Adam sighs and scrubs at his eyes. He's tired and his head kind of aches and the sexual charge he usually gets after a show is starting to drain into an all too familiar emptiness. Brad said once that Adam feels like that because he's got no one to charge his batteries, but all of Brad's battery allegories really only make Adam feel like a glorified dildo.

"If you come out I'll rub your belly and make a wish," Adam says.

"Really?" The reply sounds kind of hopeful and Adam supposes there's comfort in the familiar.

"Yeah," Adam says, closing his eyes. "Really."

It takes forever but then the door opens a crack and a shock of messy brown hair peeks around the edge of it. The hair is followed by a pair of gorgeous brown eyes that peer curiously at Adam's face. Adam smiles and they disappear again, but it's only moments before they're back, this time followed by the rest of the face.

"Hey," Adam says, trying to keep his smile encouraging.

"Hey." The genie-escort's smile looks a bit hesitant, but damn it's gorgeous.

"Do you have a name?" Adam asks.

The genie-escort smiles for real this time and the rest of him spills out of the closet. Brad was right, he really is all kinds of perfect -- tiny and well-built with gorgeous cock-sucking lips and a narrow waist. Adam kind of wants to devour him, but he doesn't think it's on the agenda right now.

"I'm Kris," the genie-escort says, blinking prettily.

"Hi Kris," Adam says. "I'm Adam."

"I know." Kris sounds really happy about it too, as if maybe he got to read the fine print on the escort contract.

"So," Adam says, trying to think of a good topic of conversation. "Uhm… Is this your first job as an escort?"

Kris blinks, looking really confused. "Escort?" he asks.

Adam resists the urge to face palm, because really, what was Brad thinking? "You know _escort_?" Adam wriggles his brows and makes a vague hand gesture that's supposed to imply sexual acts without being obvious.

Kris just stares at him.

Adam sighs. "Is this your first time getting paid for sex?"

Kris frowns deeply and reaches into the closet again, coming out with a thick binder. Adam doesn't have time to see what it's about before Kris starts flipping through it humming under his breath. When he finds the right page, he trails a finger down the page, worrying at his lower lip in a frankly adorable way.

Adam leans forward to peer at the page, trying to be sneaky about it even if Kris seems completely lost in his reading. He can't read the fine print, but at the top of the page 2. INTERSPECIES MARRIAGE is printed in letters so bold they almost knock Adam over with their confidence.

"Marriage?" Adam squeaks.

Kris looks up, wide eyed and startled. "Didn't Brad tell you?"

Adam takes a calming breath (more like ten) and shakes his head slowly. "No, I can't say he did."

"But…" Kris chews on his lower lip. "We are Meant To Be."

Adam can hear the capitals falling into place -- it does nothing to calm him down. Kris is cute (well adorable really) but Adam is so not ready to settle down.

"Uhh, I think there might have been some kind of misunderstanding… " Adam starts, trailing off when Kris's face falls and he starts eyeing the closet again. "I mean you're really cute but…"

"Not husband material," Kris says sadly, looking down on the binder open over his knees. "It's okay. I get that a lot."

"No, that's not…" Adam cuts himself off and silently curses Brad to the high heavens and right down to hell. Fuck him and the horse he rode in on.

"I've been waiting for you a long time," Kris says. "About two hundred and twenty-five years… give or take, but it's okay if you don't feel the same way. It happens." He looks up with a sad little smile. "Sometimes being Fae really sucks, you know?"

Adam wants to wipe the sad look from Kris's face and make sure that it never returns, but that doesn't mean he's going to marry the guy. They don't even know each other.

"I guess," Adam says.

From his point of view being Fae fucking rocks -- they live for a really long time, they can eat whatever they want _without putting on weight_ , and they know when they've found their true love, which lowers the potential for having your heart broken by about one hundred percent. Unless, of course, you're Kris and your True Love just rejected you.

"How do you even know I'm the one?" Adam asks curiously. He might not have listened very attentively to Brad's lessons on Fae culture, mostly because Brad insisted on giving his lectures naked.

"The Oracle told me," Kris says, perking up a little. "I met this girl when I was sixteen and I kinda thought that maybe she was it, you know? But The Oracle said you wouldn't even be born for another two hundred years. That's why I took the Genie job, by the way. Seemed like a sweet way to pass the time, making people happy and all that, but… It's not as easy as it looks."

"Oh?" Adam asks, trying to keep Kris talking while he sends off a very sternly worded text to Brad. He's got some explaining to do.

"I got yelled at a lot, but I really don't think it was my fault. I speak Human, of course, but my internal dictionary only updates once every other decade and I never did manage to figure out how to get past the Parental Guidance lock my mom put on it when I was fifteen. So when this guy asked for a bird with long legs, a tight pussy, and a big cock, how was I to know he wasn't just an animal lover?"

Adam tries to cover his laugh as a cough because Kris looks full of wide-eyed innocent bewilderment, but then Kris winks and Adam can't hold it back, bursting out into too-loud embarrassing guffaws.

Kris smiles a pleased little smile, eyes sparkling. "And I can cook too," he says.

Adam hears doom approaching -- it sounds a lot like the wedding march.

*

Kris stays. He might not be the escort Adam thought he would be, but he's amazingly good company and he fits right in with the rest of the crew. There is no more talk about marriage or Being Right For Each Other (Kris's words) and Adam lets himself be lulled into a false sense of security -- no one is going to spring a marriage on him when he isn't looking, right?

At least that's what he thinks until he opens his twitter to find about one million @replies asking who he's marrying (Tommy is a popular guess, as is Brad). With his heart fluttering madly, Adam brings up the gossip blogs and learns that apparently he sold the rights to cover his Las Vegas wedding to _People_ and donated the proceeds to charity.

"Kris," Adam shouts, voice cracking. "Get your ass in here right the fuck now."

Kris comes stumbling out from the bunk section with his hair in wild disarray and his threadbare pajama pants riding low on his hips.

"Yeah?" he asks, scrubbing sleep out of his eyes.

"Did you tell someone we're getting married?"

"You're getting married?" Tommy asks. "That's adorable."

Adam glares at him before turning his attention back to Kris, who's shaking his head with a bewildered look on his face.

"You said we weren't getting married," he says.

"Who's getting married?" Terrance asks as he brushes by Kris heading for his favorite seat by the window.

"No one," Adam says at the same time as Tommy says, "Adam and Kris."

Terrance shakes his head and yawns. "Whatever," he says. "But you better invite me, bitch."

Adam’s just going to retort that there will be _no invitations_ because there will be _no wedding_ when he notices that Kris has slipped back into the bunk section, the door closing behind him.

"This is where you go after him," Tommy remarks.

Adam gives him an uncharitable look. "If you're not nice I'm going to marry _you_."

Tommy purses his lips. "Does that mean I'll get alimony when we divorce? Because in that case, hell yes!"

Adam glares at him for a moment before folding forward and burying his head in his hands. When did his life get so complicated? He doesn't look up when Terrance comes up behind him, reaching past him to get to the computer.

"When is the wedding anyway?" he asks.

Adam doesn't answer and after a moment Terrance laughs. "It's _tomorrow_ ," he says triumphantly. "And I'm specifically mentioned as one of the guests. Well, they call me Trent, but close enough."

Adam groans weakly, he's so not ready to get married, but if he backs out now he's going to look like a douche and even worse, he'll hurt Kris again. He knows he's not living up to Kris's expectations; Adam sees him thumbing through the manual when he thinks Adam isn't looking (ha, Adam is always looking) and it kind of breaks his heart to think that maybe Kris is trying to figure out what he did wrong.

The thing is, Kris didn't do anything wrong and Adam's kind of fallen in love with his adorable plaid ass. He just hates being pushed. So many things in his life are already out of his control between Brad's meddling and his management's wishes (that are really more like demands), and maybe he thought that he would at least get to choose who he loves, but obviously not so much.

Adam sighs and straightens up, giving the computer screen a disdainful look. He should call Brad and his PR and quite possibly his mom, but right now there's only one person he actually wants to talk to. .

He finds Kris in his bunk, tucked into the far wall. He seems smaller somehow and Adam wants to wrap him up in cotton and keep him in his pocket. (He did that once when Kris had a cold, it satisfied his every caveman need, and he decided that everyone should be blessed enough to have a not!boyfriend who doesn't necessarily abide by the laws of nature.)

"Hey," he says, sitting down on the edge of the bunk.

"Hey," Kris answers without moving.

Adam sighs and makes room for himself at the edge of the bunk. He thinks that maybe he's been tackling this the wrong way; he should have grabbed the reins of this spectacle a long time ago.

"So…" he says, reaching out to curl a hand around Kris's shoulder.

He likes touching Kris. Brad was totally right about the battery thing; being in close proximity to Kris is eerily like having his batteries charged. Kris is the perfect wireless Cupid battery charger; Adam could make millions on him on the black market if the thought of someone else touching Kris didn't make his stomach clench.

Kris doesn't roll with his touch and Adam sighs, moving a little closer. "Could I have a look at the manual?" he asks.

Kris makes a non-committal sound, but after a moment he produces the manual from somewhere underneath him. Adam takes it and turns on the reading light, fluffing up the pillow and settling down to read. He doesn't read all of it, he just stops on the sections Kris highlighted, alternating between wanting to laugh and wanting to cry.

 _Humans do not come with the Fae's built-in ability to recognize True Love, in fact they are likely to crap a Good Thing in the face. (Observe: Not literally, there is no need to keep wet wipes and sanitizers handy.) If that is the case for you and your True Love, you need to be patient. While the Fae recognize the fact that Destiny has their balls in vice-like grip, humans like to believe there actually is such a thing as Free Will. ( ~~Obviously, they've never met Destiny.~~ My apologies, Destiny is a fair and beautiful lady who conducts her business in a very ladylike and efficient manner…)_

Kris underlined the section about being patient three times and Adam's heart clenches, maybe he's kept Kris waiting long enough. He puts the manual to the side and curls up behind Kris, burying his nose against Kris's neck.

"You do know I love you, right?" he murmurs, lips ghosting against Kris's skin.

Kris rolls over on his back and glares at him, not quite the reaction Adam was expecting. "Then why are we not having sex?"

"I… uhm… what?"

"I have not had sex in two hundred years," Kris says tightly. "Because I have been waiting for you like a good little Fairy. Then you turned me down and that sucked, especially since I had to watch you make out with that bleached little tramp every night for the past two months…"

It takes Adam a moment to realize that Kris is talking about Tommy.

"And NOW you tell me you love me? I'm _never_ talking to you again."

With that Kris unceremoniously shoves Adam out of the bunk and climbs over him, disappearing out into the main quarters; a moment later the toilet door slams shut behind him. Adam hears someone stifle a laugh and he pulls Kris's pillow down from the bunk to cover his face. He should probably pick himself up from the floor and slink back to his bedroom, but he just doesn't have the energy.

Against his hip his phone starts vibrating and he picks up without looking at the display.

"Adam," he says.

"Adam, my dear boy. I thought for sure you would call me once you heard the marvelous news."

Brad, of course.

"You don't have to worry about a thing. We, that would be your PR and me, have everything planned down to the smallest detail. It's all very extravagant, exactly the sort of thing you'd expect from a rockstar marrying his True Love."

"Uh huh," Adam says. He wonders if Kris actually meant it. He would be very sad if Kris never talked to him again.

"I've arranged for Monte to pry the two of you apart for long enough to go through with the ceremony and you're not allowed to stick Kris in your pocket, okay?"

Adam blinks; it makes his eyelashes scrape across the pillowcase. It smells like Kris, and Adam kind of misses him a little.

"I'm not gonna stick Kris in my pocket," he agrees dully.

"And the rings… Well, you're gonna love the rings. GaGa and Katy Perry are performing at the reception, by the way. I figured that would be enough of a distraction for people not to notice that the grooms aren't in attendance."

Adam frowns, Brad's words finally penetrating the sad fog in his head. "Why wouldn't we stay to watch my girls?"

Brad's shocked gasp is enough to make Adam sit up and pay attention.

"Adam," Brad says, clearly upset. "Please don't tell me you haven't commenced with the Ritual Mating?"

"The Ritual Mating?" Adam asks. He didn't see anything in the manual about that.

"Oh my god," Brad whispers. "This is _most_ disturbing news. Okay… okay… we can deal with it. Where is Kris right now?"

"In the bathroom," Adam says, reaching for the manual. "He's never talking to me again."

"Hmmm… And you don't have a concert scheduled for tonight?"

Adam leaves through the manual, looking for the chapter on Ritual Mating, while Brad talks to someone at the other end of the line. The manual is apparently useless, there's not even an appendix about Mating.

"Okay," Brad says, coming back on the line. "This is what we'll do. The bus will drop everyone but the two of you off in the next town. I feel sorry for the driver, but we're going to pay him extra. That'll give you about… thirty-six hours to begin the Mating process. Hopefully that'll be enough for the two of you to manage the ceremony… If it's short."

"But Kris isn't talking to me," Adam says.

"Obviously he doesn't have to talk for you to fuck him," Brad says, clearly exasperated. "Get on that."

"What? Now?"

Brad mutters something on the other end that Adam can't make out, then he comes back. "In ten minutes, give or take."

Twenty minutes later Adam is alone on the bus with the driver and Kris, who still hasn't come out of the bathroom. Adam knocks on the door.

"Can't we talk about this?" he asks.

Kris doesn't answer.

"We're getting married in thirty-six hours. It'll look funny if you aren't talking to me."

Kris still doesn't answer.

"Brad thinks we should start with the Ritual Mating process."

The door opens and Adam finds himself with an armful of smiling Kris. "Yes, please," he says and that's that.

Ten hours after the First Kiss Adam staggers out of his bedroom to get some refreshments. He doesn't even make it to the door before Kris pounces.

Eleven hours after the First Kiss Adam tries again, this time he makes it out into the main quarters.

Twelve hours after the First Kiss he feels a little bad for the driver and drags Kris with him back to the bedroom.

Fifteen hours after the First Kiss Adam's sheets are so far beyond saving they're going to have to burn them and his dick is sore.

Sixteen hours after the First Kiss his dick is even more sore but he can't stop smiling.

Eighteen hours after the First Kiss Kris's bunk is also beyond saving, and Tommy's, and Sasha's, and Terrance's. In fact they might have to burn the entire bus.

Twenty hours after the First Kiss Kris has lost his voice, Adam's dick might have fallen off (he's so not going to look) and Kris has him spread-eagled on the bed demonstrating that he doesn't necessarily have to alter his _entire_ appearance.

Twenty-four hours after the First Kiss they're too wrung out for thrusting. It's a good thing they're on a bumpy road.

Thirty hours after the First Kiss Adam finds his second wind and fucks Kris up against the wall. Twice.

Thirty-seven hours after the First Kiss they stumble out of their hotel room, hollowed-eyed, all dressed up, and attached at the hip.

Thirty-eight hours after the First Kiss they miss the reception and Kris fucks Adam inside an empty champagne bottle. It's amazing until someone tries to pour them and they end up finishing the act floating in a glass. Adam's reasonably sure that his mom didn't believe her eyes anyway.

  
**The End**   



End file.
